thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i love accidental penises.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
