make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
