the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize