do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My ass is underappreciated
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
