Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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