whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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