Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Randomize
