Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I accidentally burped into my bong.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
