so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
