I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
