what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
