So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize