who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize