STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
