Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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