I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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