As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
