We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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