he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So many bounce houses so little time
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
