He told me they were just razor bumps!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
