i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize