white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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