quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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