he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize