Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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