i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
