Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
