Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
