I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
