this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
