Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
