I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
