I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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