yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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