dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
