Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i think i have herpe
just one?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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