People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
