i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
