yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
