Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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