sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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