He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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