Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
