I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
