So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
