I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
