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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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