How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She has the best kind of daddy issues
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
