I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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