I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
