Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I need water and some morals
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
