I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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