Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
