We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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