so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wish I only lived at night.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
