she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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