we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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