Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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