The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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