lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
