So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
