I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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