end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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