he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
