Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Sober January is a disaster.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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